There were sounds in my head, little voices whispering..
that I should go and this should end
then I found myself listening,
I dont know who i am without you, all I know is that I should,
i dont know if I could stand another hand apon you ♫
I've never been so lost in my life, this evening i found myself walking around my town for hours, with no destination, desperately listening to my i pod hoping to find answers in the songs that didn't help my mood. I feel like i know who i am, but i don't know who i am without him, which actually doesn't make sense. I don't understand how two people can be together, but be so distant. I actually felt sick to my stomach walking around, not even knowing who i am. He doubts us, and i doubt him. Yet we can't break this up.. neither of us will end it. I'm not myself, and he hasnt been himself, i know he cares but he acts like he has nothing to lose. Is my heart nothing to him, because he is very close to losing me for good. I gave him a second chance because i believe this is meant to work, but the promises i made him make to me were REAL and hes not taking them serious and thats breaking my heart more than anything. I'm a human being with a vunderable heart, does he not see that hes breaking it. Three weeks ago i was breaking his without even knowing, and i was the bigger person and forgave him, yet im sitting here getting mine broken by him and he knows it , and feels the need to not take action. How did i turn into this, how did the girl who didnt let anyone push her down basically volenteer herself to get hurt by the boy she loves. Life makes just about as much sense as love does. None - smug
