just a small town girl, living in a lonely world she took the midnight train going anywhere

what has this fucking world come to ?! you can't have a drunk hookup anymore without drama going insane to the max.. probably one of the worst couple days of my life. Drunk hookup= loss in best friend, because of another person gossip problem. fuck i wish he would get over it , im not impressed at all right now.. im going to europe tomorrow and all i can think of is the fact that i lost a best friend and how awkward hanging out with the group is going to be

A singer in a smoky room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night
Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Paying anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Don't stop believing
Hold on to that feeling

i decided we werent guna speak so , why we up 3am on the phone

ew i cant sleep haha :) .. today was a good day! came home from cape breton and hung out with my best friend <3 haha shes great, went out for ice cream with her and my other bestfriend! it was nice catching up even a lil .. MONTH AND A HALF TILL EUROPE BITCHES :) . omg im excited, i actually cant wait!!! so i got layed off at tan stand for lack of hours.. tim hortons here i come .. i desperately need two jobs! europes KILLING MEE .. ps , tomrow im gunna be committed to macbeth,or im going to let someone beat me with the book. im so behind its not even funny.. im going to fail so hard if i dont smarten up .

<3

"I used to miss you so much, but it never seemed like you missed me, I guess because of that I stopped missin' you.." -onetreehill♥

it feels so wrong not to be with you,its getting harder to stay away

today is a new day .. im looking at a alternate way to get over him, instead of fighting with him every night which is only hurting both of us more.. im going to hand write letters . chessy i know .. but almost nessecary ?. i feel as though a couple months without expressing my feelings to him may be good , but at the end of the couple months i can give him th letters , without the arguments .. he'll just know how i feels.. ill get over it much better . i wrote thefirst one . its great , i feel good.. i cant believe how much i love him,and how much he loves me .. were two completed different people, this wont work .. its so unlike me to be so serious about something . im surprised at myself more and more each day

ill be your princess and you'll be my toad, ill follow behind you on rainbow road :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsLqKAvKiQM&feature=featured .. lets start off with that link .. haha epic fail to turning a childrens book into a video, especially because its about poop.
haha so me and mandy are doing a song in the coffee house, hopefully she's as pumped as i am, even tho i carrry no previous musical talents with me, but i do pick up things easily, .. pray for me :D .. i actually dont feel like writing .. the end :) easters giving me pimples . - smug

[ I forgot to say outloud how beautiful you really are to me ]

I'm on my moms laptop, haha its pretty cool.. like i go on it all the time but i never wrote about my life on it .. haha typing on a laptop like this makes me feel all professional or something, like a business woman. I think its cause i have such an ambition to be a business woman, like when i go on trips with my luggage i like to wear like dressy clothes, haha i feel like all professional.. its so weird, but i love it!
haha anyway!! My parents went to cuba for a week, its kind of cool like with just me and my bro, like we have some responsibilties but its cool because we can kind of do our own thing. Like the other night i didnt get the car home until like 1215 . and like it wasnt even a big deal to my brother. But if that happen with my parents, being 15 mintues like would be "unnacceptable" and i would get grounded. haha i just love them not being home for a week.. but i do miss them,
So relationships are FUCKED .. friday night was actually the worst night ever, and saturday wasnt as bad but still pretty bad, we fought and fought. Its actually horrible. We decided we need some time apart, like no talking for a while.. and so far its kind of working out?. I went out last night, had a little bit of fun.. but at the end of the night he was still the one i wanted to talk to .. but i resisted my urge to talk to him, as i am doing right now .. its hard to go from talking to someone everyday,several times a day ..to just not talking at all . Im not real sure what i think about it . but i know its still bothers me, because he just signed on and my stomach turned..ahhhh he just messaged me ........

fml

the upside to having two jobs! money money money :) .. downside, working 8-2 at once location, and 4:30-9:30 at the other .. ugggh pooop tired !!