ill be your princess and you'll be my toad, ill follow behind you on rainbow road :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsLqKAvKiQM&feature=featured .. lets start off with that link .. haha epic fail to turning a childrens book into a video, especially because its about poop.
haha so me and mandy are doing a song in the coffee house, hopefully she's as pumped as i am, even tho i carrry no previous musical talents with me, but i do pick up things easily, .. pray for me :D .. i actually dont feel like writing .. the end :) easters giving me pimples . - smug

[ I forgot to say outloud how beautiful you really are to me ]

I'm on my moms laptop, haha its pretty cool.. like i go on it all the time but i never wrote about my life on it .. haha typing on a laptop like this makes me feel all professional or something, like a business woman. I think its cause i have such an ambition to be a business woman, like when i go on trips with my luggage i like to wear like dressy clothes, haha i feel like all professional.. its so weird, but i love it!
haha anyway!! My parents went to cuba for a week, its kind of cool like with just me and my bro, like we have some responsibilties but its cool because we can kind of do our own thing. Like the other night i didnt get the car home until like 1215 . and like it wasnt even a big deal to my brother. But if that happen with my parents, being 15 mintues like would be "unnacceptable" and i would get grounded. haha i just love them not being home for a week.. but i do miss them,
So relationships are FUCKED .. friday night was actually the worst night ever, and saturday wasnt as bad but still pretty bad, we fought and fought. Its actually horrible. We decided we need some time apart, like no talking for a while.. and so far its kind of working out?. I went out last night, had a little bit of fun.. but at the end of the night he was still the one i wanted to talk to .. but i resisted my urge to talk to him, as i am doing right now .. its hard to go from talking to someone everyday,several times a day ..to just not talking at all . Im not real sure what i think about it . but i know its still bothers me, because he just signed on and my stomach turned..ahhhh he just messaged me ........

fml

the upside to having two jobs! money money money :) .. downside, working 8-2 at once location, and 4:30-9:30 at the other .. ugggh pooop tired !!

can't you see that you're smothering me holding too tightly afraid to lose control

People these days are pretty dramatic when it comes to shitty situations, like omg i hate my life, omg worst thing ever.. and im very guily of it.. but i can honestly say ive just had the worst night of my entire life. He came over to work things out, not only did we not work things out, i heard him bitch at me for 4 hours about everything. Maybe 20 mins of the 4 hours we hung out was there no bitching involved. I lost track of time, and finally my brother told me to drive him home, i was relieved. Except when we got to his house, the biggest argument ive ever been in with someone face to face arised. We screamed at each other, and for the first time i let down my guard in front of him. I cried a little, but not as worst as i did when i left. I had to pull over because i couldnt see from crying so hard. For the first time i was the hopeless friend that didnt know waht to do. I called the first person that came up in my head and went showed up at my best friends house. The support i got helped, but ive never been so lost in my entire life .. this boy has made me someone that i dont want to be .. i cant even write the rest of the story . -smug

if these walls could talk they'd probably cry out for mercy

highschool relationships are too complicated for my 16 year old brain to handle. It's like you fight and fight to keep the fire blazing, but its not like im going to marry this guy right?.. sometimes i dont see the point, but neither of us can let this go. Today he got extremely jealous,and got back at me by attempting to make me jealous .. but it just pissed me off, which resulted to me attemping to end it ( referring to kevins blog, Ew i hate my life i just want to end it, or somethign along those lines) haha but it didnt end, because we fought it out AGAIN. I told my good friend about this, and she is trying to set me up with this boy that likes me tommrow. but i cant do it, i really cant, i already made up a great excuse to not go. I'm hopeless in love teenanger
So speeches are fun, everyone hates them, but i dont find them so bad.. im writing my speech on celiac disease, the disease that i have. Im pretty much extremely embarassed to be reading it in front of my class, and my VERY judgemental teacher martin , but hopefulyl everything goes well. Its time that i've accepted it, and told my story. I'm kind of hoping i dont cry, cause its so weird, i cant mention my grandmothers name without crying anymore.. i miss her so much it hurts. She died of stomach cancer if you were wondering what im talking about, and celiac diesease can lead to stomach cancer... any of my blog readers will learn more about it considering all of you are in my class:) haha .. speaking of my english class, i sat at a table today with kevin,mandy and allison. I didnt forget how cool they were, i just missed it terribly. Allison and me were tighter then spandex when we were little and i miss it:( .. me and mandy had a cool friendship in middle school, and unfortunatly things happen at some dance, over a boy i hardly knew, and i was a little intoxicated, and i miss her very much too .. cause friends shouldnt stop talking just cause of a boy:( especially a boy i never knew.. at all . haha and me and kevin, i dont miss him, cause he's always in my hair, and im always in his BFF .. haha :) .. just wanted to shout out to you guys, and how cool you are, and i hope we'll be good friends are a while, cause it was a fun, non productive period haha . ew its 2am , and im not tired.. yet i laid in bed and forced myself outta bed because i remember kevin commented on a blog that he told me about at school, wasnt that excited, still love yah .. anyway BED TIME FINALLY . :) - smug!