School Sucks

Well this is my first blog , and i would tell you about my self but i'm not real sure how to even describe my 16 year old stubborn self. I'll start with my school, it's one big popularity contest. The right clothes,right hair,right friends, right everything. If your one bit different, you get looked down on. I think its a little rude to judge people on their appearance but i am guilty, just like everyone else. The way my personality has formed over the years is completely based on what others think. I live by the motto that i don't care what people think cause its my life, sadly i'm fooling myself. Growing up i was a very self aware person you could say, but as soon as appearance mattered, i changed. I get so intimated by just wondering what people think about me. I do things that i know are wrong, and i know i do it to get the "respect" of others but all im doing is hurting myself. I can honestly say i don't really know who i am anymore. I know who im trying to be, but i know it's not who i should be. I should be a young woman whose passionate about things and generous to people. I try so hard to be someone im not so i dont have to feel actual pain.To me, being someone else is like being numb, because its not the real me right? Should mean its not the real pain. I tell people what i think they want to hear, usually turns bad in the end. Speaking of school , i should go study for my exams. p.s they suck p.s.s im incapable of focusing for more then 40 mintues haha p.s.s.s watch out world, here comes smug lol . ew