we live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round.

This is going to be such a random post..
Control. It's a dirty dirty word, today i realized my boyfriend controls all of my moves, without even trying. Before i make plans with people, i make sure he has something to do that night , just in case he would wanna hang out. Doesn't make sense to me .. i was such an independent person , and bam im "controlled". and today we had an argument about how i don't know anything about cars, and i ended up saying sorry for it!? does he really expect a girl like me to know anything about cars, ugh ... sometimes i don't even know what i see in the boy , i love him allot.. but he just doesn't consider my feelings sometimes.
Math. Is also a very very very dirty dirty dirty word. I HATE MATH... guns don't kill people, grade 11 math does. My math teacher is an actual idiot, and hardly taught my class anything this year, and now its hurting us. The week that we were suppose to review, he decided to lock himself in the room across the hall and tell us to have fun? like thats SO nice of him. Everyones telling me that im gunna do fine, but ive accepted that i might actually have to go to summer school. Me=loser
Post secret=greeat waste of time.. post secret sometimes takes over an hour of my life each day .. when im done looking at the weekly updated site , i go on youtube and look at some. Reading other peoples disgusting,emotional,happy and sad secrets makes me feel better about my life. I actually sent in a secret one time , and i found it on youtube months later.. it was a great feeling, you know that my sucky situation about heart break, would make someone else feel better about their life.And sending that postcard, with one of my secrets on it was a closing to the situation, and feeling of relief, that by sending this away, i was completely over what happen. Sounds kind of weird, but it was an awesome thing at the time haha.There was one post secret i found this week, and it said "i still cant grasp the concept that i wont live forever." That one made me think .. ive never actually thought that i would die, but of course i know i am because everyone has to. But i never really thought i would, because right now im not ready to leave. Theres so much i want to do, maybe ill write down my list right now haha .. its a pretty epic list actually , reminds me of jamie off of a walk to remember with her list of things to do before she dies.I'll just give you 20 of them . I think it'd be cool to have this list, and when i die for someone to read it and know that i accomplished every one of them that i could & know i made something of myself.So this is my list .. "these are all the things i wanna do before i kick the bucket"-bucket list<3>
20.Have mind blowing sex.. sober hahah(great way to start)
19. Sing a song i love in front of a crowd, and not be embarrassed.
18. Write a personalized letter to every person i ever loved, explaining how much they meant to me.
17. Find my soul mate & live up every moment with them
16. Sky Dive
15.Ride a mechanical bull .. drunk haha
14. Learn how to play guitar.
13. Live in Europe and learn about the culture,art & history.
12. See the northern lights and dance under the sky and forget about the world for just a few moments.
11. Write a book worth reading.
10. Get married, have children and NEVER let them feel unloved.
9. Get a tattoo that means something.
8.Watch a sunset with someone I love
7. Kiss a famous person.
6. Visit Africa and make a difference in one child's life
5. Experience God fully, like my priest talks about in mass, feel that he is in my presence
4. Become someone important.
3. Make a wish at the top of the Effiel Tower at 11:11
2. Make change happen, peace will happen!
1. Be loved and love in return!

There ya go .. and thats only 20 , i have much more :) haha maybe one day i'll die and people will be like oh i remember reading her blog 40 years ago, find this and check off everything i did! haha wouldnt that be awesome. It's doubtful , but you never know:) My beds calling my name - your smuggy friend:) xox